December 24

I’ve read somewhere that the nicest people are sometimes the most insecure ones. To a certain degree, maybe, but I don’t think that’s particularly accurate. I am sometimes nice, sometimes insecure, sometimes sensitive, sometimes self-righteous, and sometimes unapologetically nonchalant. There are instances, though, when the feeling of superiority gets the better of me. That’s why the scene written below resonated with me in a way that doesn’t commonly happen with a rather matter-of-fact delivery of relatively funny dialogues.

Anyway, here’s an excerpt from an episode of, you guessed right, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. People in that show are depicted to be almost always self-righteous, which for some reason didn’t rub me the wrong way when it usually does, and Buffy, being the leader and the one carrying the greatest burden of responsibility, may be the most  pompous of them all, if rightly so.

Scene description:  Buffy is on patrol, waiting for a vampire to stake. When the vampire (Holden) turned up, he made himself known as a former classmate and the two engaged in a surreal conversation while resuming fighting with each other every chance they get. [From season 7, episode 7: Conversations with Dead People.]

 

BUFFY:
I have all this power. I didn’t ask for it. I don’t deserve it. It’s like… I wanted to be punished. I wanted to hurt like I thought I deserved. I sorta think—you know, this is, um, complicated. If you’d rather just fight…

HOLDEN:
(leans back) Tell me.

BUFFY:
I feel like I’m worse than anyone. Honestly, I’m beneath them. My friends, my boyfriends. I feel like I’m not worthy of their love. ‘Cause even though they love me, it doesn’t mean anything ’cause their opinions don’t matter. They don’t know. They haven’t been through what I’ve been through. They’re not the slayer. I am. Sometimes I feel—(sighs) this is awful—I feel like I’m better than them. Superior.

HOLDEN:
Until you can’t win. And I thought I was diabolical—or, at least I plan to be. You do have a superiority complex. And you’ve got an inferiority complex about it (laughs) Kudos.

BUFFY:
It doesn’t make any sense.

HOLDEN:
(sits forward) Oh, it makes every kind of sense. And it all adds up to you feeling alone. But, Buffy, everybody feels alone. Everybody is, until you die. Speaking of…(stands) you ready for our little death match?

BUFFY:
I suppose. (stands) Thanks, for listening.

HOLDEN:
Oh, you know, there’s some things you can only tell a stranger.


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