April 29

Slow down, you crazy child
and take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while
it’s all right, you can afford to lose a day or two


Vienna – Billy Joel

You remember the TV show F.R.I.E.N.D.S. don’t you? I recently rewatched the alternate reality episode (the one where Monica was fat, Chandler was [still] a big dork and a pushover, and Phoebe was a stock trader or something; I forgot about the other half of the gang).  I can remember that when I was very young, I’ve always dreamed about being someone who does “important” things, like Phoebe did in that episode – always on the go and considering time of utmost importance. I thought “looking” busy means you’re doing something with your life.  How wrong I was.

I feel like I want to ask for more time in my hands. I want to do a lot of other things now not because it looks important but because it gives me satisfaction. For now I’m just striving not to stress myself too much. I get to allow myself to lose a day or two now whenever I feel high strung and I found it quite habit forming. Not a very good habit, all things considered, but if it helps me relax and do away with stuff like treatment for acne, then it serves a purpose. Which is more than I can say about pushing myself too hard every single time.

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