That sound you (I) hear is not the vuvuzela. Although World Cup enthusiasts are probably loving that name – it even topped Justin Bieber on trending topics in Twitter – my ears are stinging from the sound of media attack against Roger Federer. It’s worse than a stainless steel drum just because I lack sleep and woke up to harsh write ups and comments.

Sure, Federer was surly, and bitter, and sarcastic, and maybe even self-delusional in his post-game presser after losing his quarterfinal match yesterday. But I’d give the guy a break. It’s, what, a few minutes after a very disappointing loss for him. He shouldn’t have spoken his mind, especially because he was wrong. It maybe was an uncharacteristic loss of cool and class, but don’t bury him like he’s not done anything good all these years. Oh, well. That’s the price of excellence, I guess. You lose it, you (superficially) lose everything.

Need I say more?

I’m talking about Roger Federer’s hair, not Robin Soderling’s. The guy may have lost the match; his 23 consecutive Grand Slam semifinal streak may have come to an end; he may well lose the no. 1 ranking soon, but, boy, does he have the best hair among all these ballers. Call me a fan, because I certainly am. And call me vain, but side view is Federer’s best side, methinks. It should have its own term life insurance.

So what have I learned so far from this year’s French Open?

1. I can’t repeat what the umpires are saying, except for deuce and mademoiselle.

2. Of course, it goes without saying that I don’t understand what the umpires are saying.

3. I want Federer to defend his title, with or without Nadal at the other side of the net, so I can hear him speak French in his acceptance speech again. It doesn’t matter that I won’t understand what he’s saying. Though a Federer-Nadal final would make me so nervous I’ll probably pig out while watching and then look for colonix reviews.

4. Justine Henin speaks French, but that’s not why I want her to win. She has a very difficult road to the finals and if she wins anyway, despite that terrible serve (what happened with her serve?), then that will say it all why she’s my favorite.

5. I want to go to France and learn to speak French. But I also want to Spain and learn to speak Spanish. Of course I can always just purchase Rosetta Stone.

This is the watch that Rafael Nadal is wearing during the French Open (Roland Garros) 2010.

This luxury watch is crafted by luxury watchmaker Richard Mille. How much, you ask? A little more than US$500,000.

Not exactly one of those you’ll call cool gifts for Dads, no?! This article describes what exactly makes this watch cost that much. Regardless, you probably won’t be seeing it anywhere inside your favorite malls. And to wear it while playing a sport like tennis, more so because Rafa is a lefty,  seems like wasteful and unnecessary. But who am I to judge? Rafa just wears it and gets paid for it. The brand gets their advertisement and publicity. Then, I get to write about it. I think everyone’s happy.

Roger Federer is supposed to meet Rafael Nadal in the semifinals of the Rome Masters this week, also as part of their preparation for the upcoming French Open in June. Nadal has been showing signs of his invincible self (at least on clay) again these past week, when he won in Monte Carlo. I watched that final against Fernando Verdasco and it was frustrating for the other Spaniard.

So with all the build-up, and the fact that Federer hasn’t won anything since the Australian Open, this loss to Ernests Gulbis is rather anticlimactic. It also stressed me into eating an unplanned midnight snack. Gee, I need my ephedra diet pills now.

This has got to be one of my favorite tennis videos. Like, ever. Thanks to the very creative YouTube uploader.

First, the subtitles are completely false (except perhaps for a few things, like names mentioned). The commentator sounds like he is cheering for Federer and someone thought to make his own interpretations of the rather overly enthusiastic comments about our hgh (his greatest-of-all-time highness) Federer.

Roger Federer’s fans, rather expectedly, range from the average tennis spectator, his colleagues, journalists,  fellow athletes, and fellow sporting heroes. I’ll never forget the late David Foster Wallace’s New York Times piece “Federer as a Religious Experience.” Take it as you will, but it was written with such passion for both the sport and the talent of the man who accomplished enough to transcend it.

Then there’s this interview with Olympic gold medalist Lindsey Vonn (alpine skier). What got my attention is this part (because I’ve always wondered about it):

You got to meet him after this year’s French Open final. What was your first impression when you met him?
I thought he was a lot taller. On TV, he looks a little bit skinny. You can’t really see his height. When I saw him in person, he really had a big presence. He had a much bigger presence than I was anticipating. He was a tall guy, had broad shoulders, and didn’t look small at all.

Seeing Roger Federer on TV, you’d think sports build muscle but apparently not tennis. Time to rethink that theory. It’s scary to think, in this context, how bulky Rafa looks then.

1. Federer is king. Australian Open organizers made sure that they highlighted that fact during the trophy ceremony. It seems funny now that just a year ago, tennis experts have been corroborating on their funeral planning of Federer’s reign in men’s tennis, eagerly appointing new names, even beyond the next-in-line Nadal. How his sweet 16 win must be really sweet for the guy.

2. Justine Henin is back. She may not be ready to defeat a player of Serena’s caliber at this time, but give her a few more months when she fully get her old groove back. I think she’ll be ready by the French Open in June, and expect her to be one the entire field would most likely fear the most.

3. Maria Sharapova needs to bounce back, fast. There’s no question about Maria’s commitment to the game and her champion spirit, but as the other women are getting better and better, and with the return of the Belgians, she needs to make a statement in the Grand Slams soon. At least that’s what Nike is expecting her to do, I would dare suggest.

4. Another Andy stole hearts with loss. In last year’s Wimbledon, Andy Roddick won many more fans by his courageous fight for the title, and more so by his heart-wrenching loss. This year, at Melbourne,  Andy Murray wasn’t able to control his tears while accepting the runner-up plate. The fans understood, and felt his pain.

5. The Australian Open set a high standard for the rest of the year. The tennis was at a very high level, both for the men and the women – there were plenty of five setters and three setters, respectively. It was high on quality and high on drama. Here’s hoping the remaining 3 can live up to this one.

Like I did with the finals of the women yesterday, I started writing a post in anticipation of the men’s final. Then I got all superstitious because Henin lost yesterday, and I don’t wanna jinx Roger Federer, so I waited until it’s over before I completed this. And I’m very happy to report that Roger Federer won his 16th Grand Slam title in Melbourne today.

All throughout the match, I was trying to keep myself from updating my Facebook page using my sister’s newly unlocked phone with match commentaries. I even managed to stay away from Twitter. I was quite tense because Andy Murray looked more like the man to beat than Roger was the whole fortnight. But all’s well that ends well. At least for us Federer fans. Andy Murray broke hearts, though, including mine, by his acceptance speech (which he can’t finish because the tears came). He gave everything, he played brilliantly,  and he was beaten in straight sets. Now I want to support Andy Murray. At least as long as he doesn’t face Federer in a final of a Grand Slam.

Now, on to Roland Garros.

Days 5 and 6 at the Australian open are so bizarrely different, but day 5 definitely takes the cake for being more drama-filled and, again, bizarre. Day 6 is almost boring, considering the high level of play and buzz surrounding the first five days. It’s like the electrical supplies giving energy to tennis fizzled this Saturday.

For drama of the highest order, Kim Clijsters, the reigning U.S. Open Champion and comeback queen (being trailed by compatriot Justine Henin), was trounced 0-6 1-6 by Nadia Petrova. Petrova is a solid player and she played brilliantly, but no way will Kim have that scoreline – the worst loss in her career -  if nothing’s wrong with her that day. They say it was like she wasn’t in the court. Well, the reasons will remain speculations for now, but the thing is she had a bad day. That’s that.

Justine Henin almost went down, as well, losing the first set and got broken early in the second. But she rallied to take the match in the third. Svetlana Kuznetsova almost lost, too, as she played under the lights past midnight and with almost empty stands.  Rafael Nadal won in four sets, Juan Martin del Potro barely won, John Isner won big, and Jelena Jankovic was ousted.

That’s day 5. Saturday, however, gave us a totally different kind of vibe. The seeds rolled through to the next round and nothing really special happened, except for Marcos Baghdatis retiring from his match against Lleyton Hewitt and Mikhail Youzny wihdrew from the tournament.