Big Potatoes

For some reason, I suddenly got reminded of a few distant relatives. We practically grew up together, my three siblings and I, and their brood of seven - we went to the same school, the same church; we played the same games; we didn’t dream the same dreams.

I wonder what lives they have now - especially my kababatas (those roughly my age). Our parents used to brag in competitive banters about who got the better grades, who’s the meeker child, who got the better job after graduation. Where we came from, the biggest measure of success is whether you have set foot on foreign soil. I haven’t. One of my cousins from that family lives in North Carolina, I think somewhere near the Outer Banks; his brother was sent to another U.S. State early in his career. There was a time, by choice now vague in my memory, when I told my parents that I will do whatever I can to get a job abroad; I was actually working on something then, or so I thought. It didn’t surprise me that everybody in town found out and were anticipating my “departure.” I didn’t feel too bad to disappoint those merely spectators. I guess I just decided I was not meant to be big that way.

And I’m Really Back

Ola! Blog of Z is now back on track! Thanks to Philhosting dot net for FINALLY restoring my database although I’ll need to repost my “Under Construction” post, which incidentally contains my disappointment of this particular service provider.

Do you know what I did because I am so tired of site downtimes and server problems of my Windows hosting subscription? I ordered a new domain and a new hosting space, this time a higher plan (P100 per month) and on Linux. You would think it’ll be on another Web hosting company. But, no. Yes.

I researched for reliable hosting companies and discovered that their prices start at $5/month. That’s for unlimited server space and bandwidth, excluding domain registration. No way I can see that as practical in the meantime.

So please wait for my new blog announcement. I’m currently setting up the site. I honestly don’t know how I’ll manage to keep another blog running, at least with regular weekly posts, but I’m taking the chance. For now, I’m going to rest. My eyes are hurting from looking at the computer monitor for so long that I wish I have a nice lamp or any other cool light fixtures at home so I won’t have to keep the fluorescent light on at night. I could use a little dim effect.

Cinderella Update/Mall Talk

If there’s one thing I learned today, it’s that procrastination is bad. (Yeah, right!) Ever since the news about Broadway Asia’s Cinderella came out, I knew there’s no way I’m not going to watch. First of all, it’s an international musical that stars Lea Salonga. I don’t have a second of all – I am so there! But I didn’t purchase my tickets even after they began selling. I waited and waited, thinking about the schedule and that there were so many performance dates anyway. When my sister and I went to the Ticketworld outlet today, we found out that all balcony seats are sold out for ALL weekend performance dates. We managed to buy two tickets for Tuesday (August 12) but it was at the topmost balcony row. Talk about the least favorable location. But not to dishearten my sister (a big fan of Lea); at least she’ll be able to watch with her friend. As for me - it could be (Ebay) beginner’s luck – my other sister found two tickets up for sale; the other good news is, it’s on the “Buy It Now” category so I didn’t have to compete against anyone else, like what happened the first time. But the better news is that those tickets are exactly within my budget and they’re balcony center seats. It’s going to be on the matinee show (August 24) and although I prefer to watch on the closing night, I’m a little relieved by Lea’s announcement that she’s scheduled to perform on each and every date barring illness.

Anyway, after buying the tickets, we strolled in the mall to look for some things we need at home. I haven’t shopped for appliances and gadgets lately so it surprised me to see that the television displays now mostly consist of LCD TV screens. The smallest one I saw (25 in.) costs Php 29k. Then, we did a little window shopping, looking for clothes and shoes on sale and viewing Nautica watches display, although we didn’t really plan to buy anything. We went home carrying nothing but the clothes rack I bought from ACE.

I also must say that Mall of Asia has officially taken the place of Glorietta as my favorite mall. I just don’t like their cinemas, well except of course for the IMAX theater and the Director’s Club.

The Frog (Prince)

When I went home last night, I saw a toad again at the foot of the stairs on the way to my apartment. I realized now that it’s the rainy season that brings them. And just because I’m in no mood to create anything in the meantime, I’m rehashing an old post from my other blog:

I came home late from work for the third time this week. What greeted me at the foot of the stairs on the way to my apartment was a familiar sight. Not that it was a welcome sight, but it was there the last two times I came home late. I stopped in my tracks, and for a moment was undecided if I should go on or go back.

Should I be worrried?

No. It was just a frog.

Should I be worried that seeing it again is the highlight of my week?

Yes, I should be.

As I shoo it away and went by my business, I remembered all those unfortunate frogs that fell victim to our Biology class back in college. Proof that I did mankind a favor by not taking up medicine: During a practical examination, we had to pith a frog (inserting a needle in the frog’s vertebrae to destroy the spinal cord, thus paralyzing the animal) before dissection, to identify the muscle parts. I always had a lab partner to do the deed in the previous meetings so I was lost when left to my own devices. No matter how hard I try, I couldn’t find that point on the back of the frog’s head where I should start to go in. What happened was I got too tense because of the time restriction and my own inadequacy that while my classmates were already starting to remove the skin of their frogs, mine was still wriggling in my hand, in my utter desperation and helplessness. We were not allowed to wear gloves, that sadistic teacher!

I never really liked animals close up (on TV some are cute), much less the real Kermit! But imagine that, every Biology class, we had to go to the prep room to each get one sample from this huge container filled with jumping toads! Que horror!

Now, just not to raise the eyebrows of some science geeks out there, I’m actually talking about toads. I just happen to like writing frogs more. Whatever! They’re not really the same.

So let’s go back to my frog, errr, toad. The next time I see it, I’m telling my landlady!

I was asking for a fairy tale. I won’t take this for an answer!

SciFi, Really?

Somebody asked me once, “So you like SciFi?” I was about to shake my head and vehemently say “No!” I’m not a StarTrek fan. I don’t even like Star Wars. I then did a little mind inventory:

Favorite TV show: X-Files, Taken

Favorite movie: Contact

Must be the aliens.

Truth is, I’ve always been fascinated by the thought of extraterrestrial life. It’s not necessarily about the little green men, or gray ones, or their supposed powers and advanced technologies that we exploit for entertainment. Contact summed it up the best for me when Ellie Arroway said, “The universe is a pretty big place. It’s bigger than anything that anyone has ever dreamed of before. So if it’s just us, it seems like an awful waste of space.”

When you look at the sky, what do you see? How do you feel about the vastness of the space beyond this planet? It always humbles me, in the most lucid moments, how small and insignificant we are against the grander scheme of things. Let’s skip religion, but are we not to agree that we, as a race, are part of something greater than ourselves? But people can be self-possessed and egotistical, lusting over the power of gods, even when we can’t even agree where we really came from. That may very well be how we survived. And if you’ve watched “An Inconvenient Truth,” that’s also what will spell our doom.

It’s easier to think that “the world is what we make of it.” It’s easier not to look for answers, because that’s what humankind has been doing since the beginning of time. Looking and failing mightily. Are we not in a better position now to enjoy our lives and accept that it’s all there is to it?

I don’t think I have an answer to that. I even think that Occam’s Razor (”All things being equal, the simplest explanation is probably the correct one”) is a very complicated principle.

People will always look at things differently anyway. Consider these different viewpoints from the movie Contact:

Ironically, the thing that people are most hungry for — meaning– is the one thing that science hasn’t been able to give them … Is the world fundamentally a better place because of science and technology? We shop at home, we surf the Web… at the same time, we feel emptier, lonelier and more cut off from each other than at any other time in human history. - Palmer Joss (a spiritual leader)

You’re an interesting species, an interesting mix. You’re capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you’re not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we’ve found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other. - Alien from Vega

So it turns out there’s life on other planets. Boy, this is really going to change the Miss Universe contest, you know what I mean? - Jay Leno in his TV show

Gad, I love the movies! I love how they mirror real life even when they’re trying to be grand and fantastic and out of this world.

Heart of Darkness

Some families keep secrets but possibly very few as horrifying as Austria’s Fritzls. The now-73-year-old father, Josef Fritzl, drugged his daughter, Elisabeth, in 1984 and locked her up in a secret cellar below his house for 24 years. There, he fathered seven of her children, of which one died, three lived with Elisabeth in their prison without sunlight, and three were raised by him and his wife, who, for all those years, thought her daughter ran away from home to join a cult.

Recent events in the past week brought the captives into the daylight and the into world’s collective guilt. You’ll think this is the stuff fiction is made of; well here’s your stranger truth. BBC.com has a timeline of the case; links to other reports and pictures are at their right sidebar.

Hope Is the Biggest Lie There Is

People talk a lot as if the most important thing in life is to always see things for what they really are. But everything we do, every plan we make is kind of a lie. We’re closing our eyes and pretending the day won’t ever come when we won’t need to make any more plans. Hope is the biggest lie there is, and it is the best. You have to keep going as if it all mattered, or else we wouldn’t keep going at all

- from Steven Spielberg’s Taken (2002)

One thing about me, I hate to give advices. Another thing about me, I rarely ask for one. Sounds fair enough? Detached, is what it is. A friend told me “Sometimes, I wish I can be like you.” “Insensitive?”, I asked. “Yes,” she agreed. Before we all agree on that, I’d like to make it clear that I’m talking about life decisions, not mundane things. When I was younger, I thought that I know a lot of things. Would you believe that I even dreamt of having a radio show ala Joe D’ Mango, thinking that coming up with solutions to other people’s problems can be a self-satisfying career. That was when I haven’t got any real problems of my own to solve. A few years into being an adult, I realized that such endeavor is ultimately that: self-satisfying. You give “smart” advice, peppered with words that are more or less superfluous, when all you really want to say is “Do the right thing,” because what else should anyone do in any case?

At any rate, I know the danger of keeping to oneself too much. That is why I’m not trying to say that let’s stop listening to each other; let’s stop venting out to each other; let’s stop encouraging each other and telling each other that everything will turn out right. Who knows? It just might. When things go haywire, some people just need a sympathetic ear or two that will listen. The mouths that go with those ears may sometimes come up with wise words; sometimes, empty words. It doesn’t matter because such exercise builds friendships whichever way, and for some that’s a worthy accomplishment in place of resolution.

But what is it about hope? Why do we give it although there are times when we don’t even have it in ourselves? I guess the quote said it well - “else, we wouldn’t keep going at all.” I don’t think there’s any better motivation than that.

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