I think I’ll always love poetry.

Over the years, I feel like I’m becoming more and more cynical, practical, and less emotional. Not always a good thing, but it kind of saves you from sweating the small stuff, so to speak.

So what does poetry have to do with it? Well, poetry is not practical, it’s meant to stir emotion, and it demands you to use your imagination. I think poems – especially the great ones – are almost always written with an extreme experience or state of mind. Comparing straight prose to poetry is like comparing leather wallets to an expensive designer purse.

I’ll always love reading poetry but I am hoping that I can recapture my ability to write poetry. It kind of left me.

For everyone else, the next few days are going to be either sacred or, in the very least, rest days. For me, it’s all the same. I’m not trying to make any kind of statement here – sentiments or otherwise. It just made me feel a little bit odd (for lack of a better word) when a client asked me if I’m working over the Easter holidays and I said yes. Because they asked me last Christmas and New Year and I also answered in the affirmative. For a little while there, I thought about the impression I’m giving, then I’m back to my self-preservation corner thinking “Who cares, anyway?”

In the very least, these public holidays will stop me from purchasing any more free shipping coupons this week, as I’ll surely not be able to have them delivered until next week.

I had set up a bank account that’s supposed to give me, as a bonus feature, up to four times my average daily balance as an insurance (accidental, I think – see, I didn’t even check the life insurance info to be sure, because having somewhere to save up was the more important thing for me). Seeing my meager balance get depleted because of unexpected circumstances, or extra purchases, or slower than usual flow of work, I can’t help but feel deflated and terrified about my future. I think in that regard, there never can be enough insurance. Well, unless I suddenly start earning waaaayy more than I can spend in a month.

So I tweeted today, and I’m 70% serious about it, that I want a life coach – not just about finances but everything else. Any takers?

So this post and an upcoming one will be about my newfound love for traveling. I still couldn’t claim to be as passionate as many people are about it because I still don’t think that I will do it more than 4 times in a year. This 2012, I’ve already been to Singapore, in June, my sister, brother, sister’s friend and I are scheduled to spend a few days in Cebu, and then I have already booked tickets for Cagayan de Oro for a pre-Christmas trip in December. I guess I can have room for one more, if friends will come up with something, but I guess that’s it for  2012.

The first time I was in Singapore, I only bought with me 2 wedge-type sandals/slip-on, both about 2.5 in. tall. I thought I’ll be going around in a city, so they would do. HUGE mistake! I learned the hard way that you have to do very long walks to go from one place to another – even with their very efficient transportation system. I admitted later it was a good thing because I needed the exercise, but I actually had to buy myself comfortable flats to preserve my feet and the function of my legs. The second time around, I know what to do – no tall heels, no hard leather, no bobbi brown shoes – unless you’ll take the cab from and to your hotel for a night out.

I pains me to say that I’ll probably never be a musician – in the smallest, most trivial way possible – because I’ve always been a music fan and some part of me always hoped that if I want it enough, I’ll learn to create music or at least be proficient with one instrument or two. As I grew older, however, I am slowly realizing that maybe it’s not too bad to remain just a fan. What’s too bad about just sitting back and listening, anyway? I can even hum along, although I don’t have the pipes required to actually sing along loudly. That’s why I’m really excited that my brother – to whom I gave my last acoustic guitar when I finally gave up on it – has been showing real talent in this area. He invited me to a concert that involves his college music group, and it’s just too bad I can’t make it this time. Someday, maybe I can get him a gibson supreme or something else really nice. I can’t help but be a proud sister, although I’m just now trying to avoid feeling like I can at least live my dreams through him. Besides, he’s already way beyond my level when he got mad that my sister and I wrote about buying a “ukelele” when we should’ve spelled it as “ukulele.”

I can still remember when I watched Beauty & the Beast (Disney animated classic) back in the 1990s. I was not that young to be still too enamored with fairy tales, but I had always been and I believe up until now I never really lost my fascination with them. I think the fact that I discovered them on my own through my innate curiosity about everything I can find in books and TV and movies, rather than having my parents open my eyes about them as a child, only intensified my attachment to stories of all kinds.

That is why I find it not surprising that no matter how my tastes in the kinds of stories I pay attention to have evolved over the years, fairy tales will always have a special place in my heart. It’s not just about the princess and the prince and her tiara and his mens wedding ring and their happy ever after. It’s everything in these stories that represent hope and dreams and how life can be the most beautiful thing there is if only you can look at it with endless wonderment.

All these are also why I can’t wait for February, when Gaston, Belle, and the Beast will make an appearance in my new favorite show, Once Upon A Time.

I started today on a positive note by willing myself to get up early enough. I thought, all I need to do now is to prepare my things for the gym, actually go to the gym and get a bit of workout, then maybe grab a coffee from Starbucks and go home to start work, which I can feel will come by noon. Work came, alright. My plans didn’t push through, however, and now I’m ending my night quite angry myself for wasting away the ENTIRE day. I didn’t even finish work, which means tomorrow I’ll be cramming to keep with the deadlines again.

Gah. I can print all my “tasks” and to-dos everyday on my Epson TM-T88V, and unless I actually do a little bit of “rewiring” to adjust the way my brain functions these days – or maybe it’s just my attitude – I’ll only keep on wasting precious time. As if I can’t tell myself enough – 2012 has got to be different, for the better of course.

… is that when actually you get to cross out something, you’ll think of something else you’d like to accomplish. Here are some of mine, in no particular order:

Visit Singapore, but now
Visit Singapore often or maybe live there

Watch Wicked live (will do in January, in SG)

Watch Next to Normal, but now…
Watch Next to Normal in Broadway

Watch Les Miserables in Broadway

Watch Roger Federer play live

Watch a Wimbledon final live

Get a picture with Steffi Graf and Andre Agassi

Invest on a would-be abode

Write a book (it doesn’t have to get published)

Write a song

Visit my sister in Canada

Send my parents to Canada to visit my sister

Wow, I could go on and on. Why can’t I just list something like buy my brother a PS3?

That’s me. Maybe not in the whole wide world, but probably in both sides of my family. I mean, my aunts keep on telling I don’t visit them, and what did I do? Visit them once then not do it again for a long time. I’m not too fond of texting either, just because I really don’t normally send text messages unless I really have something to say. I always say they live too far away from my place. And here are my other cousins from the other side of my family, who live just a few blocks – and a jeepney ride – away, and I wasn’t even there when my cousin’s baby’s first birthday was celebrated, and I adore that kid to pieces. (Well, they didn’t celebrate at home, so I guess that’s kind of an excuse.) Anyway, she’ll be two pretty soon, so let’s see if I can at least give her a nice gift and give it to her myself.