Note: This is another crossover post, with a few changes to accommodate two previously separate ones.

My introduction to Buffy the Vampire Slayer came about when I was searching for a new TV series to watch. Ok, that didn’t sound right because the show ended in 2003, so it wouldn’t fall to the category of “new.” Anyway, I realized I’ve been watching too much X-Files so I decided to shift my attention some place else. Now, I’ve never really considered myself to be a SciFi/fantasy nut; ironically, my favorite movies (Contact, Meet Joe Black) and TV shows (X-Files, Taken, and now BtVS) all go beyond the realistic. I wouldn’t overanalyze the “whys” mainly because I don’t think I can point it out exactly. But the unique thing is, although I enjoy the visual effects and story progression of this kind of presentation, I tend to focus more on the human aspects – the emotions, relationships, struggles, and parallels to real life. I guess maybe, for me, the “fantastic” provides a whole new layer of intensity in sending the message across compared with in-your-face representations like in reality TV or soap operas.

In retrospect, after having seen all seven seasons through DVDs and after having spent a lot of time in fan forums, nitpicking episode by episode, I realized that the main thing that this show had done for me is that it sort of expanded my world and inspired me to pursue the art of creative expression, in whatever way or form it comes my way. It introduced me to names of brilliant people who did, and continue to, show how a little concept can go a long way and also how talent is important but hard work cannot be taken out of the equation.

It wasn’t a perfect show. Beyond that, it is rife with heartbreak, pain, and those things that make you want to look away because they aren’t pretty. I’m not even talking about the vampires, demons, or those rubber-faced ghouls, but about the life of this sad little hero and her sad little friends (who are, ironically, effectively funny). Here’s a girl who didn’t choose to take responsibility; it was shoved into her throat when she wasn’t ready but she eventually learned to embrace her destiny. She’s not a superhero. She’s not without flaws – she makes mistakes, she hurts her friends, she hurts herself, she makes wrong decisions, and at times she’s even incredibly selfish. But she saved the world … a lot.

… a magical dramedy, a ripping thriller and the smartest work of girls-kick-ass feminism ever crafted by a pudgy guy who’s into comic books. Sarah Michelle Gellar nimbly handled the show’s undead allegories for coming-of-age conflicts (her stunt double nimbly handled the rest). And the show unspooled a rich mythology, realistic family and relationship stories and the best Sondheimian musical episode ever written for hour long television. The demons and ghouls were comically rubber-faced, but Buffy’s spirit was achingly real. – The 100 Best TV Shows of All-TIME.

What made the show famous are the snappy dialogues, tons of witticisms, double entendres, and metaphoric storytelling. What made it lasting is that it can drive a stake through your heart if you’ll let it. It even has powerful witches, loyal human friends, a supercool evil-turned-lovelorn vampire, and a hilarious bunny-phobic ex-demon trying to be a regular girl who all helped make The Slayer’s world all the more beguiling. You won’t find more compelling characters in women’s shoes than here.

P.S. If you’ve always been curious about this show but can’t get past the ridiculous title (like I was for years), I suggest you start with the last half of season 2 because that’s where it really took off. You can always go back to the introductions later.

So, this just proves that I can’t start talking about Buffy the Vampire Slayer and not keep on babbling. The show ended in 2003 but the story lives on. In comic books. I’ve read that the Buffy season 8 comics actually caused a spike (no pun intended) in the rate of females reading comics. Geek converts! I haven’t bought anything from the past 22 issues but I am keeping myself up to date, through the Internet of course. I’m not even sure if these are available locally, but like an emergency light in the dark, kind-hearted fans are always willing to scan and share stuff so I get to take a peek. 

The comics serve as the canonical continuation of the TV series, but somehow I don’t really accept that (Dawn’s a giant, then a centaur? Warren is alive, but no Anya, no Tara?). Not even if Joss Whedon says so. Ok, I guess I don’t really have a say in that but the covers are pretty awesome, especially those illustrated by Jo Chen (I mean, really, really awesome!).

At the Buffy reunion during the 2008 Paley Festival this year (I saw the DVD), Marti Noxon, producer and writer from TV shows such as Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Grey’s Anatomy, and Private Practice, said that if Joss Whedon will call her one day to say that he’s building a rocket, she wouldn’t doubt him for a minute. Some people are just so talented they come up with unexpected things just by setting their minds onto it. Well, I believe such people only set their minds on things they know they can do; it just surprises others to finally see how much they really can.   

Another person in that panel who has been working a lot is Amber Benson. Her credits include actor, writer, director, producer, singer, and humanitarian. She’s only 31.

From left to right: Amber Benson, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Emma Caulfield (March 2008, PaleyFest)
 

I’ve been lurking around Buffy forums to read episode discussions and fans seem to love this girl even if she isn’t as well known as her costars, mostly because besides creating an endearing character on TV, she seems to be a genuinely nice person in real life. What impressed me is seeing the range of her work. The acting part seems to be the bread and butter (she’s been in some obscure movies I don’t think I’ll ever watch), but she’s also co-written comic books and books; wrote, directed, produced, and starred in two of her own independent films; cowrote and directed a cult animation called Ghosts of Albion for the British network BBC; written and presented her own stage play; composed and recorded two songs for her fans; and is about to release her first solo book series to be published by Penguin Books.

I would do anything to be able to have half of that. Well, anything that I can do, I mean, without having to pack a Zero Halliburton and travel the world to learn things. Anyway, I haven’t finished watching her first attempt at writing/directing – a movie called Chance (2002) – but I kinda like the opening monologue (voiceover):

All right, you live your life in a totally normal, full-on reality check kind of way. That’s good and cool. Things don’t get messed up. People you love hang around until you can’t stand them anymore. Things never change. But shit like that doesn’t happen in real life. Real life is just a movie with someone’s finger jammed on fast forward. The numbers change faster than you can count. When you’re a little kid, you never think you’re gonna die. I mean death is just some kind of esoteric thing you see on TV or read about it in a book. Then one day you realize what it really is, and nothing is ever the same again. From that day on, you’re f&*%ed.

I’ve read somewhere that the nicest people are sometimes the most insecure ones. To a certain degree, maybe, but I don’t think that’s particularly accurate. I am sometimes nice, sometimes insecure, sometimes sensitive, sometimes self-righteous, and sometimes unapologetically nonchalant. There are instances, though, when the feeling of superiority gets the better of me. That’s why the scene written below resonated with me in a way that doesn’t commonly happen with a rather matter-of-fact delivery of relatively funny dialogues.

Anyway, here’s an excerpt from an episode of, you guessed right, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. People in that show are depicted to be almost always self-righteous, which for some reason didn’t rub me the wrong way when it usually does, and Buffy, being the leader and the one carrying the greatest burden of responsibility, may be the most  pompous of them all, if rightly so.

Scene description:  Buffy is on patrol, waiting for a vampire to stake. When the vampire (Holden) turned up, he made himself known as a former classmate and the two engaged in a surreal conversation while resuming fighting with each other every chance they get. [From season 7, episode 7: Conversations with Dead People.]

BUFFY:
I have all this power. I didn’t ask for it. I don’t deserve it. It’s like… I wanted to be punished. I wanted to hurt like I thought I deserved. I sorta think—you know, this is, um, complicated. If you’d rather just fight…

HOLDEN:
(leans back) Tell me.

BUFFY:
I feel like I’m worse than anyone. Honestly, I’m beneath them. My friends, my boyfriends. I feel like I’m not worthy of their love. ‘Cause even though they love me, it doesn’t mean anything ’cause their opinions don’t matter. They don’t know. They haven’t been through what I’ve been through. They’re not the slayer. I am. Sometimes I feel—(sighs) this is awful—I feel like I’m better than them. Superior.

HOLDEN:
Until you can’t win. And I thought I was diabolical—or, at least I plan to be. You do have a superiority complex. And you’ve got an inferiority complex about it (laughs) Kudos.

BUFFY:
It doesn’t make any sense.

HOLDEN:
(sits forward) Oh, it makes every kind of sense. And it all adds up to you feeling alone. But, Buffy, everybody feels alone. Everybody is, until you die. Speaking of…(stands) you ready for our little death match?

BUFFY:
I suppose. (stands) Thanks, for listening.

HOLDEN:
Oh, you know, there’s some things you can only tell a stranger.

Where there’s life, there’s hope
Every day’s a gift,
Wishes can come true,
Whistle while you work,
So hard all day
To be like other girls,
To fit in in this glittering world.
Don’t give me songs,
Don’t give me songs.
Give me something to sing about.

-Buffy Summers

I’ve been thinking a lot about this song lately. I know, another sad song just by its lyrics. The irony of it is that the sadder I am, the more I crave for songs.  There’s something about haunting melodies that get me all the time. Even when I can’t relate with the exact lines, music touches me in away that mere words can’t. This, coming from someone who fancies poetry just a little too much. I can see myself in a deserted place, cross-legged in a yoga position and eyes closed under the Fig trees , mp3 headset in my ears. Geez, I’m watching too many fantasy shows.

Opening yourself to songs is not without ramifications, though. Sometimes they hit nerves you didn’t know you have. And that’s when you start to lose joy in happy songs.

But then again

Life’s not a song,
Life isn’t bliss
Life is just this,
It’s living.

You’ll get along,
The pain that you feel
Only can heal,
By living.
You have to go on living

- Spike