I have another blog that is supposed to be my place to post reviews/commentaries/rants/gushings about things of the past (i.e., stuff that are no longer considered “fresh” in the news), but I’m thinking about discontinuing that site now that the new billing cycle for my hosting services has come. It’s hard enough to maintain two blogs and if the bill alone won’t stop me from making a renewal, which isn’t necessarily expensive enough to require a cash advance, the lack of time to update sure will.

Anyway, here’s something from the said site. I’ll be transferring posts between here and the other other blog.

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First, I love almost all of the X-Files. Everything with both Scully and Mulder on it. But here’s my top 10, shamelessly relationship-centric, episodes . At least for now, until I’m able to do another round of rewatching the series from the Pilot. [Episode summaries are taken from http://www.xfroadrunners.com/].

10. Trust No 1 (season 9, episode 8). Scully lets her guard down and invites a mysterious stranger into her confidence after she, Reyes and Doggett become divided by information about Mulder and the super soldiers.


Be still my shipper heart. Mulder’s “Dearest Dana” and Scully’s “I remain forever yours” are the only reasons I included this. Ok, so it was only through letters, and those lines are actually so cheesy to be cringe-worthy. But it was something tangible and definite - out of character for both, but at least the show acknowledged for once what those two are to each other.

9. Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose (season 3, episode 4). Skeptical of a famous psychic’s predictions regarding the murder of several prognosticators, Mulder instead finds someone who he believes truly can predict the future. Though catching the killer could prove difficult, particularly if the murderer can also see into his future.

Would you want to know how you’re going to die? Scully won’t (in the Thitonus episode, she escaped death by not looking at its “face”). Mulder, however, is a perv (autoerotic asphyxiation, geez).  

8. Anasazi (season 2, episode 25). Mulder and Scully’s lives, sanity, and mutual trust become in jeopardy after a hacker gains access to secret government files.

Mulder goes crazy, Scully shoots Mulder. Intense stuff.

7. The End (season 5 finale). An attempted assassination draws Mulder and Scully into an investigation that strikes at the heart of the X-Files, bringing an important person from Mulder’s past into direct conflict with Scully.

 

Scully jealousy. Scully saw Mulder and Fowley holding hands. Scully skulked inside her car. The mythology stuff is pretty awesome, too.

6. Pusher (season 3, episode 17). A man is apprehended yet escapes after he claims to be the hired killer of 14 people whose deaths had previously been ruled as suicides. The man, who seems to have the ability to control others, desires a challenge, leaving clues for Mulder and Scully to follow as he sets up his contest of wills.

Mulder finds an (criminal) intellectual equal. Tension-filled episode as Mulder fights a hypnotic trance that forces him to shoot Scully.

5. Dreamland I and II (season 6, episodes 4 and 5). An anonymous tip finally brings Mulder and Scully to the Mecca of all UFO lore – Area 51. But when the agents witness the flight of a mysterious craft, their lives are profoundly – and perhaps irrevocably – altered.

Mulder switches bodies with an unhappily married government man. Hilarity ensued.

4. Triangle (season 6, episode 3). Mulder goes in search of a ship that has disappeared in the Bermuda Triangle in 1939. But when he gets on board, Mulder finds that he – and all the passengers and crew – are still stuck in the past.

The (faux) kiss. The “I love yah.” Awwww.

 3. How the Ghosts Stole Christmas (season 6, episode 8). Mulder convinces Scully to put aside her gift wrapping on the night before Christmas to help him stake out a reputed haunted house. But they discover a married couple living there who are keeping a secret the agents never expected.

Pop psychology all around. An episode that managed to be truly creepy and funny at the same time. Conclusion: Mulder and Scully are two very lonely people. They belong together.

2.  The Unnatural (season 6, episode 20). Mulder and Scully delve into an old case involving a mysterious player in the Negro Baseball League with an astonishing batting average.

The best end scene ever. Period.

1. Bad Blood (season 5, episode 12). Agents Mulder and Scully are at odds over how to explain their part in a bizarre death that occurred while investigating an X-file case in Texas.

He said, she said. The show making fun of itself. A nice insight on how our two agents see each other and themselves with each other. A fan favorite. Gillian Anderson’s favorite episode.

…I’d buy this book right away. It will look good on display and it would make me very happy.

The blurb:

The Complete X-Files is a declassified look at all nine seasons of the American Peabody and Emmy Award-winning science fiction television series created by Chris Carter. Delve into the mystery and myth of X-Files with in-depth looks at its entire television run, the first X-Files film, and the upcoming cinematic sequel. X-Files creator and producer Chris Carter takes us into the never-before-seen archives with explanations of unsolved plots, discussions of the FBI’s paranormal investigations, scene by scene breakdowns of popular episodes, and insider information on both the previous and upcoming X-Files films. Discover the mystery behind Mulder’s alien abduction, Scully’s secret objectives, the designs of the shadowy “Cancer Man,” and the full truth about the Mytharc episodes. Includes many bells and whistles, such as gatefolds, alien and monster charts, alien and monster cards, movie posters, a secret dossier, Mulder and Scully booklets , and more! The Complete X-Files will captivate fans and sciencefiction audiences, proving that nothing is what it seems and that “the truth is out there.”

Fans who have already purchased the book have been rather satisfied with what they’ve seen although it’s a little disheartening that not a few mentioned several typo errors and editorial deficiency. It only comes in hardcover and is available only in the States for now so my only option  is to make another online purchase. At almost $50, it’s a rather hefty purchase that may even push me to apply for payday loans, but  what’s a Phile to do? I want me some Mulder and Scully pictures and behind-the-scene trivias.

“Forget morality. Imagine it’s true. Imagine this technology being used. Now imagine it being used, on you. Everything you believe, gone. Everyone you love, strangers. Maybe enemies. Every part of you that makes you more than a walking cluster of neurons, dissolved at someone else’s whim. If that technology exists, it’ll be used. It’ll be abused. It’ll be global. And we will be over. As a species, we will cease to matter. I don’t know, maybe we should.”

For the uninitiated, here’s the short description: The Dollhouse is a highly illegal organization, the real purpose and extent of which is just now being revealed, which hires out a group of people called “Actives” or “Dolls”. These Actives have willingly (or at least that’s what we’re led to believe) had the memories of their previous life wiped out so they can exist in a child-like state when not in an engagement – which range from crimes, fantasies, to the occasional good deed. When a Doll is hired, he or she is then imprinted with the persona that the engagement requires, which includes memory, muscle memory, skills, and language, and that the Doll fully embodies until the engagement is complete and is again mind wiped (which they call “treatment”) and kept for the next assignment.

For the last five episodes from the series premier, the show has been taking flak from viewers and critics alike that many believe it will not be picked up for a second season. The sixth episode which aired last Friday, Man on the Street, may change all that. The mythology of the show has finally kicked in. Giving up on watching a movie with bad lighting on the TV, I turned to my PC to look for this latest episode (Dollhouse is available on iTunes and Hulu.com for those residing in the US; for the rest of the world, there are other streaming sites online), and, boy, was that a fine hour of television! I finally saw Joss Whedon all over the episode – from the sly, off-handed humor to the dark, thought-provoking tones.

I don’t intend to summarize the episode because it will be pointless for nonwatchers and again pointless for those who are in for the ride. But I leave you with the quote at the beginning of this post to ponder on. The Dollhouse is a bad place, of that we are certain. But is there anything in the world that will make you want to give up your identity, your self-awareness, and your control over your own body? I wouldn’t think so.

But welcome back, anyway. I’ve been losing track of time since, well I forgot since when, but it’s just so hot these days I can’t help but notice.  The last time I went to the beach was two years ago, I think, and I am surely itching to go some day soon. Perhaps find some extended stay hotels and take a week off from work. I’ll bring some books and read them on a hammock. Ugh. I’m daydreaming again.

“Why is it we want so badly to memorialize ourselves? Even while we’re still alive. We wish to assert our existence, like dogs peeing on fire hydrants. We put display our framed photographs, our parchment diplomas, our silver-plated cups; we monogram our linen, we carve our names on trees, we scrawl them on washroom walls. It’s all the same impulse. What do we hope from it? Applause, envy, respect? Or simply attention, of any kind we can get?”

At the very least we want a witness. We can’t stand the idea of our own voices falling silent finally, like a radio running down.

— Margaret Atwood (The Blind Assassin)

I grew up in a patriarchal family amidst a very patriarchal society, so I’m not certain as to the extent of the feminist advocate I have in me. Sure, I support equal social, political, and all other rights for men and women. But it’s an all-encompassing concept that can be highly controversial when radical tendencies set in. At the same time, I have to be honest and admit that if, in the future, I will decide [inner-dialogue translations: hopeless romantic - I'll find "the one"; realist - I'll get lucky; snarky - I'll get desperate] to start a family of my own, I’m hoping it will be with a guy who can make decisions that I can trust and wholly support (maybe even admire) because I don’t want to be the one who shoulders that responsibility. Is that anti-feminist? Or maybe just plain lazy (j/k)? Here’s a related article from PDI regarding the effects of gender mainstreaming on the emasculation of the fathers and, in effect, the teachings of Christianity.

I was just over at Whedonesque, and I chanced upon a heated discussion about footwear (of all things) in the new Joss Whedon show Dollhouse. A fan questioned the practicality of having a doctor on duty wear high-heeled shoes. Did the costume department do it on purpose to flaunt femininity and entice the male viewers? Was it to follow certain stereotypes? At one point, the main character was wearing a pretty mean-looking pair of boots (not sure if it’s UGG boots; maybe not), while another woman character was walking around barefoot. Somehow, it all meant something, and Joss Whedon himself chimed in to have his say on “the issue that is tearing at the very fabric of my fanbase: shoes.”  Hell, yes, Whedon fans are that passionate about details. And it’s not too much to say that people look to Joss to create strong female characters and role models because that is what he’s famous for, starting, of course, with Buffy (THE Vampire Slayer, duh!).

I will not dwell on the politics of it because I figured feminism is a highly volatile and debatable topic.  All I’ll say is that I do want to live in a world where I, as a member of the female population, can be “awesome” (*in my best Barney Stinson impression*) and not be resented upon (or hindered) by the other sex. All’s fair in all.

Images of broken light which
dance before me like a million eyes
That call me on and on across the universe
Thoughts meander like a
restless wind inside a letter box
they tumble blindly as
they make their way across the universe

Have you ever processed a memory that makes you want to shut your eyes so tight as if such an act can flush out the images it creates inside your head? Something reminded me of some of the most stupid things I’ve done in my life and they made want to do just that. When we move on from something, when we’ve accepted and forgiven ourselves for past wrongs, they don’t really go away. We just push them aside to make room for new experiences. Once in a while, they demand face time and it can both be jarring and wistful. But as Haruki Murakami wrote, “Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time.” So like bits of notebook memory, I’m sending them away for filing. Someday, I’ll be the one to dig through the archive.

We can argue that every fictional book provides some form of escapism. It takes you away from your world and lets you go inside another’s (made-up people, made-up circumstances). Looking at the works of fiction that I name my all-time favorites – Nicole Krauss’ The History of Love and Pat Conroy’s The Prince of Tides) – will highlight the fact that I tend to respond to stories of emotional journeys; it also helps a lot that these two authors both write in a style that is very lyrical. Some may find that tedious, but it’s always what makes me reread anything.

I realized that I stopped reading, or at least craving to find new books, when I started blogging two years ago. Time, or the lack of it, became an issue and I guess it’s OK because I didn’t feel then that I’m missing anything. Writing almost everyday, however, sort of depleted my reserves and lately I’ve been feeling that I wanted to get some fresh ideas, so my thirst for books returned. This time, I decided that I’ll go beyond my usual genre for a change.

I’m starting with science fiction and fantasy and, maybe later or in between, graphic novels and comics. There’s an interesting visual about escapist fiction here, and these are some titles on my to-read list (click the picture for description):

I already have most of these books, waiting to be devoured. Now all I need is my dream furniture that will make my reading experience infinitely better. It looks like this:

(where do I buy that, Dr. Horrible?)

“Now that mine is almost over, I can say that the one thing that struck me most about life is the capacity for change. One day you’re a person and the next day they tell you you’re a dog. At first it’s hard to bear, but after a while you learn not to look at it as a loss. There’s even a moment when it becomes exhilarating to realize just how little needs to stay the same for you to continue the effort they call, for lack of a better word, being human.” -Leo Gursky

from The History of Love: A Novel (by Nicole Krauss)

P.S. If I can write a book, I’ll do it the way Nicole Krauss wrote The History of Love. And then I’ll never write again.

No good deed goes unpunished.

That’s a little bit leaning toward the glass-half-empty point of view, but something made me think of that today. I was at a work-related training earlier and while doing this sort of short presentation, the facilitator told me that what I’m talking about is too idealized. I concurred but said that it’s possible, with the right attitude. It’s a thing about taking personal responsibility and I was trying to point out that it may not be your intent to lead or to influence others but if you do the right thing, the right way, and to the best of your abilities, without the need to measure yourself against others, then maybe that would create a ripple effect and start a positive change, no matter how small.

Pondering on that later, it occurred to me that it is indeed ideal (is there such a thing as too ideal?) and is more of an exception rather than the norm. People who are able to do that wind up either being used or resented. Nevertheless, I still support that school of thought. Do good and mix it up with a bit of wariness and resilience. Someone who fits in the category of “ideal employee” once asked me how the Eleanor Roosevelt quote “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” works for me. I summed it up in three words: kapal ng mukha (being thick skinned). I expect that some of the things I do will smack me right back at the face but having that anticipation allows me to either dodge it or smack right back. When it doesn’t happen that way, then I cry. Sometimes in public. Thick skinned, remember?